Dear Lifestyle, We Have A Consent Problem

Recently, I discovered a shocking statistic that within the first five years of joining or exploring the D/S lifestyle, one in five people report that they had an incident where their consent was violated. The most often reported incident was the failure to respond appropriately to or respect a safeword. This research was done by... Continue Reading →

Airing Some Clean Laundry

A pet peeve of mine, especially online is the number of posts, writings, and memes that are about relationship failure rather than success. The online community feels to me like it is infected with the same disease so prominent in the vanilla world and this illness is an addiction or craving for the bad news.... Continue Reading →

Yucking On My Yum

The world of D/S is incredibly diverse and there are so many different ways to approach things, do things and what works for others may not a fit for you. As an ENFJ on the Meyers Briggs personality scale, I know that I am prone to making judgments and one of the beautiful things about... Continue Reading →

Mistakes Are Learning Opportunities

It feels that there is a common refrain from submissives who have decided to continue to explore the D/S lifestyle after making errors in judgment early in their exploration and this goes like “I cannot believe I did that” or “How could I have let someone treat me that way”. The wonderful thing about mistakes... Continue Reading →

Breaking A Submissive Is A Bad Idea

Within the world of BDSM, there are many dangerous activities as well as downright dangerous and despicable people but thankfully there are many authors, presenters, seminars, blogs, as well as people who share their stories so others can learn from them. I feel this is an important topic, often not talked about, and a word... Continue Reading →

Stop The Insanity

Albert Einstein is widely credited with saying “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results” and while I have no idea if that is indeed an authentic Einstein quote or just misattributed to him but it certainly applies to the D/S, especially online. Since this quote... Continue Reading →

Polly, Can We Talk?

When I hop around the kinky side of the internet it seems that there has been a spate of blog posts about poly relationships gone sideways. While many seemed to be filled with drama as people on all sides were not willing to stay above the fray and the amount of dramatic back and forth... Continue Reading →

Kissing Loads Of Choads

There is that old saying that a person must kiss a lot of frogs, toads, or perhaps choads to find that ideal partner, and while I have no idea how much kissing needs to happen before love blossoms, there is advice given to many who are new to the D/S lifestyle which I disagree with.... Continue Reading →

D/S Relationships Need To Be In 3D

When a person says 3D I think many of us will think of those super sexy glasses that are handed out at movie theaters or maybe even those older cardboard spectacles with their red and blue plastic ‘lenses’. Technology now has advanced to the level where 3D is being replaced by virtual reality and while... Continue Reading →

May I Have The Definition Please

Within the D/S lifestyle, there are all sorts of labels that people choose to attach to themselves. While I am not a fan of putting labels on people, I do understand why we do and why we do need them. It would be like heading to the grocery needing green beans but all the cans... Continue Reading →

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