Not your typical dominant, fourty something, I proudly defy labels. I my career lets me live, when I am living I ski, run, hike, read, write and embrace life. NSFW
Recently, I discovered a shocking statistic that within the first five years of joining or exploring the D/S lifestyle, one in five people report that they had an incident where their consent was violated. The most often reported incident was the failure to respond appropriately to or respect a safeword. This research was done by... Continue Reading →
A pet peeve of mine, especially online is the number of posts, writings, and memes that are about relationship failure rather than success. The online community feels to me like it is infected with the same disease so prominent in the vanilla world and this illness is an addiction or craving for the bad news.... Continue Reading →
The world of D/S is incredibly diverse and there are so many different ways to approach things, do things and what works for others may not a fit for you. As an ENFJ on the Meyers Briggs personality scale, I know that I am prone to making judgments and one of the beautiful things about... Continue Reading →
This morning as I bumbled around the internet waiting for a conference call to start I happened to find a blog post that had fifteen steps to become an alfalfa, aka ‘alpha’, dominant. It had wonderful advice such as never take “no” for an answer ever and that weirded me out. Can you imagine a... Continue Reading →
It feels that there is a common refrain from submissives who have decided to continue to explore the D/S lifestyle after making errors in judgment early in their exploration and this goes like “I cannot believe I did that” or “How could I have let someone treat me that way”. The wonderful thing about mistakes... Continue Reading →
Within the world of BDSM, there are many dangerous activities as well as downright dangerous and despicable people but thankfully there are many authors, presenters, seminars, blogs, as well as people who share their stories so others can learn from them. I feel this is an important topic, often not talked about, and a word... Continue Reading →
When someone says trainer to you what do you think of? The medical staff that runs out to assist an athlete who was hurt playing a sport, maybe it is the people who work with a thoroughbred as the horse makes a bid to win the triple crown, possibly someone who comes to your workplace... Continue Reading →
Albert Einstein is widely credited with saying “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results” and while I have no idea if that is indeed an authentic Einstein quote or just misattributed to him but it certainly applies to the D/S, especially online. Since this quote... Continue Reading →
When I hop around the kinky side of the internet it seems that there has been a spate of blog posts about poly relationships gone sideways. While many seemed to be filled with drama as people on all sides were not willing to stay above the fray and the amount of dramatic back and forth... Continue Reading →
There is that old saying that a person must kiss a lot of frogs, toads, or perhaps choads to find that ideal partner, and while I have no idea how much kissing needs to happen before love blossoms, there is advice given to many who are new to the D/S lifestyle which I disagree with.... Continue Reading →
When a person says 3D I think many of us will think of those super sexy glasses that are handed out at movie theaters or maybe even those older cardboard spectacles with their red and blue plastic ‘lenses’. Technology now has advanced to the level where 3D is being replaced by virtual reality and while... Continue Reading →
Within the D/S lifestyle, there are all sorts of labels that people choose to attach to themselves. While I am not a fan of putting labels on people, I do understand why we do and why we do need them. It would be like heading to the grocery needing green beans but all the cans... Continue Reading →
